'The Confident Daughter'

Expert program to help you increase your daughter's self-belief and resilience

So you can both navigate the challenges of her tween and teen years with confidence.


Watching your daughter's confidence drop is heartbreaking

Research shows that between the ages of 8 and 14, girls’ confidence levels fall by, on average, 30%, which was a trend even BEFORE they had to deal with social media, living in a ‘digital world’ and COVID.

As a parent of a tween or teen daughter, it’s likely you’re seeing this play out in front of you every day.  The excited bursts of energy are becoming less frequent, the exploration and silliness being replaced by a reluctance to try new things, fear of getting out of her comfort zone, a dimming down of her unique self. 

Not surprisingly, YOUR confidence can start to take a hit as the self-doubt floods in…

“Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Am I doing the wrong thing and I don’t even know? Why is she mad at me all the time?  Where has my little girl gone?

And with every hesitation, boundaries back-flip and heated argument, your relationship with your daughter faces more strain and deterioration, right when she needs you most.

Suddenly you're an onlooker, powerless to help her see how capable she really is, and how bright life can be.

We promise: you are not alone in experiencing this.


But it's hard to know how to restore her confidence when...

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Everywhere you turn are new and unfamiliar threats to her self-worth

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she's closed off from you and pushing you away

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nothing is working and you're at a loss for what to do 

The parents Girl Shaped Flames works with..

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Know what the heck is going on! Understand and anticipated their daughter's behaviours and moods so that they can respond instead of react. 

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Say the right thing at the right time in order to create open communication and a safe space so they can help their daughter through challenging times. 

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See their daughters step into their confidence and flourish even during trying times.

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She can do hard things.  And you can be the one to help her do them.



The expert-led program backed by neuroscience teaching parents exactly how to build (and protect) their daughter's resilience.

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A comprehensive  self-paced online program delivered by youth expert Tanya Meessmann and neuroscientist and counsellor Dr Diane Harner to help you support your daughter's confidence as you guide her through self-doubt, fear and a roller-coaster of teenage emotions. 

Start seeing changes in your daughter's confidence today

The Confident Daughter is a unique and powerful blend of:

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Understand how the changes taking place in your daughter's brain is driving her behaviour

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Increase your awareness of your daughter's internal world and the pressures that she is facing

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Real-world Insights

See exactly how these theories are applied in every-day situations and start smoothing out the bumps! 

Parents share the impact The Confident Daughter has had on their ability to support their daughter:

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Introducing Tanya & Dr Di.

As founder of Girl Shaped Flames and youth expert, Tanya Meessmann has worked with over 4000 teenage girls, their parents and educators to develop their confidence, resilience and self-belief. Through this work she’s been recognised as a thought-leader in the confidence space and is often found working with full school cohorts and speaking at corporate events on the life-changing effect confidence has on girls.

Dr Diane Harner has a PhD in neuroscience and has been applying brain science to decode our thinking and behaviour for the past two decades. As a mentor and adolescent counsellor, she has worked with adults and children from all walks of life to empower performance, build resilience and confidence and enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation.

When is the right time for The Confident Daughter?

If your daughter is between 11 and 17 years old, and you're:

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Starting to notice her wobbles in confidence and want to get prepared to support your daughter in a way that works.
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In the thick of the 'Identity Phase' so she's pulling away, emotions are running high and everything you do and say is wrong!
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Trying to tackle anxiety, school refusal, defiance, push-back, communication breakdown or other low confidence issues.

Your daughter's confidence is being challenged every day.  
The time to start is now.


The results speak for themselves...

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"The program gave me deeper recognition of my role as, not so much my daughter's disciplinarian, but the caretaker of their own identity."

MELISSA - Parent of 12 and 14 year old girls

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"Doing this program at the stage we're at as a family has been really good because it's given us the skills to develop and use now, and also down the track." 

RICHARD - Parent of 9 and 12 year old girls

Ready to change your daughter's life?
These ladies know what they're doing. Tanya and Di have joined forces to change the way parents who are raising daughters in the 21st Century are supported.

Their outstanding sense of humour and no-BS approach to telling it like it is... has created one of the most powerful parenting programs you will learn from, ever.”

By the end of this program you will have mastered:


Why she behaves the way she does... and what your parenting style has to do with it.

What's going on?

Identify how your own childhood influences have shaped how you are raising your daughter

Triggers & Arguments

Develop an understanding of both of your triggers and what to do when you set each other off

Complex Brain Changes

Build knowledge and empathy through understanding your daughter's brain development

Meeting her where she's at

Understand your daughter as the person she is today including fears, motivations, values and influences


Using communication to build your connection & grow her confidence

Communication Breakdown

Understand your different communication styles and how they work together (or don't!)

Being shut out

Navigate the endless 'push-back' and what to do when she shuts you out

Support she'll actually take

Recognise when her confidence drops and how you can support her in a productive way


Facing the BIG issues head on

Disrespect and Defiance

Managing 'distancing' behaviour while keeping your relationship intact

Friendships: Toxic & Loss 

Help your daughter navigate complex high-school relationships and emotions

Your Negative Nellie

Lift her out of regular negative thinking, anxiety and risk-aversion to grab opportunities

Parenting Self Care

Because we guarantee it: if you fall apart, she will too. And that's the last thing you both need!


The role failure, judgement, rejection and uncertainty play in your daughter's life

Fear is central to behaviour

Build a deep understanding of 4 key fears influencing your daughter's behaviour

Effective coping strategies

Learn our signature process to help her manage highly emotional situations

Avoid making it worse

Know exactly what to do and say to protect your relationship and keep things moving forward


Putting it all into practice: your take-action toolkit 

Time to get 'doing'

Translate what you have learnt into simple and practical activities, tools and strategies

Finally 'get through' to her 

Discover ways you can build your daughter's confidence, and your bond with her

Building now for the future

Understand your new role as it sits today and how it will continue to evolve in the future

You'll also  get access to:

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  An insightful 40 minute webinar providing immediately applicable tools and strategies to help you set and hold boundaries, as well as determine and action consequences effectively. 

Value = $97

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Use this customisable agreement and video series to stimulate conversation and collaborate with your daughter to set clear and healthy social media and screen boundaries.

Value = $47

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This kit arms you with the tools you need to 'kick off' engaging conversations with your daughter in just a few minutes a week, helping you develop a strong. and robust bond.

Value = $127

That's over $2000 of value for just $497
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"I feel that as a parent, my confidence has been reinforced by the content, especially the neuroscience.  I have a clearer understanding where my daughters are at developmentally, and to also know that I'm not alone feeling like this."

MELANIE - Parent of Grade 7 and 9 girls

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"I feel so much stronger as a parent, I think we both do. For the first time, I actually feel like I'm equipped to understand a lot more about how I actually parent them to develop the best version of them, for them."

ALYSSA - Parent of 10 and 12 year old girls


You're covered by our guarantee.

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Everyone's parenting challenges are different. We're confident that 'The Confident Daughter' can provide the support, down-to-earth advice and immediately applicable tools and strategies that *most* parents need in their circumstances.  

However if you get into the program and know within the first 2 weeks that it's not for you? We'll refund your full payment with no questions asked.  

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She needs you now: to understand her, to guide her, to know when to push her forward, and when to let go.

'The Confident Daughter' arms you with the tools and knowledge to do so.


Here's what's included when you register.

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Instant access to the complete 'The Confident Daughter' program to work through at your own pace

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50+ 'Coffee break'-length coaching videos, full written summaries and downloadable worksheets

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3 x Bonuses
Setting Boundaries Webinar
Social Media Agreement Kit
Conversation Starter Kit

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Lifetime Access to Course Materials to revisit concepts and strategies as both of you evolve

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14 Day Money-back Guarantee, no questions asked.


$2000+ $497

One Payment, SAVE 15%

14 Day money-back guarantee

Lifetime Access



Or 3 x $197

3 Monthly Payments

14 Day money-back guarantee

Lifetime Access


Your relationship with your daughter starts with you.

The journey you are on with your daughter is complex. While she is certainly your focus, your confidence, calm, and enjoyment of your parenting journey is also important.  

A strong bond, mutual respect and healthy communication are key to keeping that connection between the two of you, so she knows where to turn when she needs support.


Frequently Asked Questions

Every day that passes, matters.