See your daughter's confidence increase in less than 30 minutes a week.

Weekly strategies and community support for you to keep the fire in your daughter's belly burning strong during her teenage years.


Watching your daughter struggle with low confidence can be one of the hardest things in the world for a parent. 

You know she's incredible just as she is. You can see her uniqueness and beauty and potential. 

But she won't hear it. 

She's struggling with self-doubt, consumed by what others think of her and scared to get out of her comfort zone. 

Opportunities for fun, growth and life experiences are being missed because of her need to fit in, her fear of failure and constant negative thoughts.

You wish you could get through to her, lift her out of it and show her a world of possibility. 

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But what to say? When to push? How to guide her?

Trying to navigate your daughter's emotional behaviour when her confidence and self-worth is being challenged is exhausting, frustrating and disheartening. 

But while it only takes a moment for her confidence to shatter, bringing it back and building it up takes time, patience and consistency. It takes trial and error, thinking outside the box, and tuning into your daughter's needs.   

Welcome to your Raising Flames Village

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An action-taking community and resource hub for parents and guardians of 12-17 year old daughters who want to support them through the confidence roller-coaster that is the teenage years. 

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Hey there, I'm Tanya Meessmann.

AKA: The Teen Whisperer.

I'm pretty down-the-line. This parenting gig is hard, often thankless, sometimes hurtful, and at times brings into question why you're putting so much emotion and effort into someone who doesn't appear to want a bar of it!

So many of us are excellent at life: our jobs, our friendships, our homes. But when it comes to trying to protect, guide and support someone whose happiness and safety we're responsible for, all of that can go out the window pretty quickly. 

I've created the Raising Flames Village for parents and guardians who want to ensure they are the go-to person for their daughter in her time of need, and actively build their daughter's confidence and self-worth.

"Tanya is instantly engaging both in a group and personal setting. She is able to bring the best out of parenrts, creating a safe yet challenging environment for us to learn and take risks." ."

Kathleen, Parent of 12 yr old daughter

"Inspirational, a wonderful opportunity to help young teenage girls grow into awesome young ladies in this crazy, social media-fuelled world."

Jodie, Parent of 13 & 15 yr old daughters

"Tanya's guidance is high quality, relevant, and presented in a format that embraces young women and allows them to blossom in their individual way.”

Cameron, Parent of 17 yr old daughter

Is the Raising Flames Village what you need to better support your daughter's confidence development? 

Well - that depends.  If you have a solid relationship with your daughter, with trust and open lines of communication between you, she takes your advice with not a lot of friction, you have a sixth sense for what's going on with her and are able to nail exactly what to say, when and how to say it...
...then no. You're all good! 

However, if you're feeling overwhelmed with information, frustrated by push-back and powerless to guide her, looking for expert advice and REAL PEOPLE to offer their ideas, support and guidance, and most importantly, you're dying to do something but you're just not sure what, how and in which order...
... then yes. This is your new happy place. 

Residents of the Raising Flames Village benefit from:

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Knowing how to help their daughter through low-confidence

in the moments she needs it most, by knowing when to hug, help or hold back.

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Understanding how to communicate with their daughter

in a way that avoids eroding her confidence further.

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Reducing the impact low-confidence thoughts, feelings & behaviours 

have on their daughter’s mental, emotional and physical well-being.

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Developing the bond needed to ensure they are the one she turns to 

when her self-worth is being challenged.

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Having more energy and patience 

To support their daughter through the use of tried and tested strategies.

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Sleeping better at night!

Knowing the evolving role they play as guide and cheerleader during her teenage years.

“With the help of Girl Shaped Flames, we have been able to keep a relationship with our beautiful daughter- which I felt like I was losing and things were out of control. Now it is stronger then it has ever been! I learnt so much that will help not only with her – but my pre teen son. I even learnt about myself. THANK YOU SO MUCH and to the community of wonderful parents – that I can now call friends!
Stacey, mum of 16 year old daughter
Ready to jump in?

What happens once you're inside?

We get to work. No more information overload. This is about empowering you with the right tools, strategies (and dare we say it, confidence (!) to help your daughter build hers.

Weekly Action Prompts to keep you moving

Our weekly prompts are quick and easy to implement, helping you see your daughter's confidence increase in less than 30 minutes a week.

Monthly Village Resident Chats to stay connected

Connect with other parents also navigating the teen-daughter-confidence waters through converstations led by Village Leader Tanya Meessmann. Swap ideas, strategies, war stories and wins.

Extra Action Activities to go deeper

Want to throw everything at it? Each month we're keeping it interesting with Live Workshops, Interactive Challenges, Special Guest appearances and 'Hot Seats' in the private FB Group.

Plus full access to our signature confidence development self-paced course for your daughter.

Stronger Than You Know (Parent's Edition)

RRP $197 - Included within the Raising Flames Village

"Stronger Than You Know" is a 7-module course delivered by teen confidence coach Tanya Meessmann, which will reveal to your daughter her inner fire so she can get out of her comfort zone, build her confidence and reach her full potential.


 But we're going to do this together.

I've worked with over 4000 teenage girls, parents and educators in recent years, AND I'm a parent myself. No one in this world gets it 'right' all of the time, but sitting back and hoping things will change  on their own is a shortcut to disaster. 

Consistent support from myself and the Raising Flames Village community will help you know what action to take and what to do to recover from set-backs.

Ready to face the tween and teen years head-on... together?